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DEAD OR ALIVE: XTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL
More to it than just binary babes...
By WILL BARKER
 There
are very few things that can guarantee the success of a product in the
video games industry.
One of them is Hideo Kojima,
and another is big busty babes with bouncing bossoms busily beating beach
balls.
Tecmo's latest game takes the
female characters from Dead or Alive 3 and plonks them neatly onto a tropical
island where they'll spend two weeks playing beach volleyball, gambling,
working on their tans and forging deep and meaningful relationships. Indeed,
this is one seriously zany game…
The story goes like this: Zack's
gambling habit leads to a multi-million dollar win and he buys an island
and sets up the fourth Dead or Alive tournament. Strangely, he only invited
female fighters, and instead of smacking each other around they'll be
playing beach volleyball. Oh, and they're only allowed to wear bikinis.
Hmm….
Opinions will be divided when
it comes to Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball (DOAX). It's very much
a love or hate proposition; one that gamers will invariably base on principles
as opposed to any merits in gameplay.
This is a bit of a shame really,
because beyond all the wobbly silicon and high-pitched giggles, all those
who shun the game will in fact miss out on some damn fine beach volleyball
action featuring scantily clad bab… Oh - well I guess you know where
my loyalties lie… I'm not worthy!!
After a rather surreptitious
intro (strawberries on navels anyone?), where the eight female athlete's
are introduced, you have two options - you can either jump right into
a quick, one-off exhibition game of volleyball, or you can fly to Zack
Island, which is for all intents and purposes the career mode, or quest
mode, if you like.
While the former is self-explanatory,
going to Zack Island is one very interesting experience. Kind of like
a resort you only dream about - eight babes and one dude? - you start
your vacation by choosing one of eight athletes.
 Each has distinct
skills, such as power, technique, defence and even noticeably different
personalities too. The idea of personality comes into play during the
game as the beach volleyball is always two on two: Buddy up with the wrong
lass however, and things won't go too well.
But in the event that your
partner does ditch you, which usually results from losing games, you can
use the rather novel method of winning over another partner by buying
them gifts.
If you buy them a new bikini,
their favourite coloured nail polish and perhaps some trendy sunglasses,
there're more likely to want to team up with you.
If they do accept your gifts
and you form a team, they'll actually wear the new bikini and nail polish
and so forth. Bizarre? Kinky? You better believe it.
Your time spent on Zack Island
is roughly split into three periods during the day - morning, noon and
dusk. There are a number of things (besides playing volleyball) that you
can do.
You can buy stuff in the shops,
including bikinis, tanning lotion (yes, your player will tan) and new
shoes to name but a few. You can play the hopping game in the pool, which
earns you money, or you can watch your designated player writhe about
on a banana lounge by the pool - complete with camera zoom/pan functionality.
Methinks this game wasn't designed for the ladeez…
The best way to earn big money
is to play (and win) volleyball, but at the end of the day you retire
to the hotel, and from here you can head over to the casino and try to
increase your earnings by playing poker, blackjack, roulette or slots.
While all the mini-games and
diversions keep things interest levels high, the meat of the game lies
in playing volleyball, and what at first seems like a fairly shallow and
simplistic game turns out to be just as wholesome as the likes of Virtua
Tennis and et al. Well, pretty close to them, at the least.
 While
there are only action two buttons and movement via the D-pad, you can
perform quite a few moves, such as the spike, block and set.
Setting the ball up for your
partner is perhaps the most straightforward move, while spiking and blocking
requires two button presses - one to get the gals airborne and then another
to actually hit the ball.
Holding the button down for
longer will make your player rise higher into the air, and theoretically
smash the ball on a tougher angle, but your second button press is important
too. Hold either one for too long though, and you're just as likely to
screw the pooch, so to speak.
This is where the big fun lies
- in the spiking and smahsing - and if you can either set up your partner
well, or vice versa, things are likely to bode well in the long run. If
you time your strokes perfectly (Ed - that didn't sound good...) you'll
also get cash bonuses for near-perfect spikes, volleys, serves and blocks,
which I suppose explains the 'Xtreme' wording in the title.
You can also influence the
direction the ball travels once you've hit it, and this aftertouch comes
in very handy during long and sweaty rallies. Replays are included, and
it's pretty funny to watch the girls either commend or bag each other
verbally.
At the end of the day, this
is arguably the best-playing volleyball game available and I thought the
sports aspect and the gameplay involved to be pretty good. Pack in all
the other features and mini-games, and it makes for quite an enjoyable
experience, all things considered.
Oh, silly me, I haven't even
touched on the visuals yet [sweat builds on forehead, palms become all
clammy -- looks shiftily from left to right, and then left again]. Well,
it's safe to say that males everywhere will flock to this game - it looks
simply amazing, it really does. As much as I want to turn away in disgust,
impressing all my intellectual female co-workers, I can't.
 The Tecmo/Team Ninja
artists and modellers must have spent months creating the girls, and I
shudder to think how many polygons they're made up of (seeing the wireframes
would be a bit of a trip). It's kind of sad that such talents weren't
put to use on other games, like the impending Hawaiin Beach Bikini BBQ
Bake-off.
It's pretty hard to spot a
jagged edge in there amongst all that flesh - everthing is just so smooth.
Hmmm.. Smooth.. Err, yes. Well, the, um, graphics are, err, fine
- let's move along....
While it can be finished, there
isn't really any point to DOAX, save from being able to buy the ultra-skimpy
$1,000,000 bikini. And, while this seems rather evil on the surface, I
tend to look at it as an addendum to a rather spiffy sports game. I mean,
imagine how cool tennis games would be if you get Andre Agassi to wear
a bikini? On second thoughts…
The music offered up in DOAX
is a mix between awful and shocking, but it still manages to suit the
game rather well, which is sort of disconcerting in an agreeable kind
of way... There's plenty of annoyingly boppy B*Witched, Christina Aguilera,
Baha Men and The Spice Girls pop songs, though things are helped by the
inclusion of a trio of Reel Big Fish tracks, not to mention the odd Bob
Marley classic.
Only in Japan could you make
a game where you gamble away your earnings at night, while playing voyeur
by day as quasi-volleyball-star-cum-personal-stylist. It is also one of
the reasons why I'm trying to get adopted by a pair of rich childless
Japanese aristocrats ^_^
In retrospect I am kinda stoked
Microsoft decided to perform the localisation on Tecmo's game of questionable
subject matter. If you can get past the gratuitous eye candy, gambling,
gift-giving and cutesy anime giggle sessions, there's a very playable
game locked away inside.
ORIGINALITY 90%
SOUND/GRAPHICS 90%
PLAYABILITY 75%
ENJOYMENT 80%
OVERALL 75%
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